Thursday, August 25, 2011

Strange email

I got a strange email. I will repost it here with running commentary. Those who aren't interested in memetics may want to just play the Drinking Game.

[email headers scrubbed]

Mental Feng Shui

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received .. Hope it works for you -- and me! 
A testimonial. Getting people to read the email is essential for the meme to reproduce.
Also, as an occasional commenter at Pharyngula, I have to say: how nice of them to put most of it in something that looks like Comic Sans.

Lotus Touts: You have 6 minutes
You'll see what this is about later.

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious .. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization . It has been sent around the world ten times so far .  

Interestingly, there were only two forwards on the email I got. Far fewer than ten, but it could just be that most of the email services it went through removed multiple forwards from the title.

Do not keep this message .

The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES . Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise . This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired .  

And here's what it was talking about earlier. Notice that if you don't have time to carefully read the email, you can't realize that there might be something wrong.
(Also note that it doesn't say when you will get the surprise. That's an old fortune-teller's trick; be vague enough while you're being mysterious, and you can take credit for anything.)

ONE .  
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully . 
Generally good advice. If you can build a reputation for cheerfully doing good work, people will hear of it.

TWO .  
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to . As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other .  
Again, decent advice.

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want .  
Stay skeptical and plan for the future. Okay.

FOUR .  
When you say, 'I love you,' mean it .  
Don't have much experience with those three little words, but this sounds okay.

FIVE .  
When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye .  
When you apologize, act like you mean it. Okay.

SIX .  
Be engaged at least six months before you get married .  
Again, don't have much experience in this area, but this sounds good.

Believe in love at first sight . 
And here's a problematic one. As anyone who went through a high school romance (or even knows what Romeo and Juliet was really about) can tell you, love at first sight has its share of problems.

Never laugh at anyone's dreams . People who don't have dreams don't have much .  
Yes, but dreams aren't much anyway.

NINE .  
Love deeply and passionately . You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely  
Again, not much experience with the L-word, but why is it necessary for completeness? And doesn't it make sense to keep your wits about you?

TEN . .  
In disagreements, fight fairly . No name calling .  
Good advice. Nothing says that you've lost like calling your opponent a Nazi instead of addressing their point. (Unless you were arguing with Stormfront or Metapedia, but those arguments are pretty much unwinnable anyway, and they seem like the types who would take "Nazi" as a compliment.)

 Don't judge people by their relatives . 
Yes. Nobody can control who they're related to, beyond deciding to not have kids.

Talk slowly but think quickly .  

THIRTEEN! . . .  
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' 
Bad idea. That's like following a string of "yes" and "no" with "no comment".

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk .  

Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze .
Be polite. Okay.


When you lose, don't lose the lesson . 
Learn from defeat. Okay.

Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions .  

Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship .  

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it .  
That, or bury the evidence. But okay.

TWENTY . . Smile when picking up the phone . The caller will hear it in your voice .  
Sure, why not.

Spend some time alone . 
Yeah, this one's good advice.

Now, here's the FUN part! 
And here begins the memeplex's infolife equivalent to a set of "fun parts". In other words, the next segment is the part of the memeplex that reproduces it.

Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve . 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly .

5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking .

9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks

15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape ...  

And then an empty platitude so that you'll forget it's a chain letter.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart 

Do not keep this message
And here's the reminder that you shouldn't read it too closely.



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